In the game of chess, it’s no secret that the queen is the most powerful piece in the game. With unparalleled power, she can glide from one end of the board to the other in a single move. Seasoned players recognize that attempting to neutralize the power of the queen by going head-to-head with her is a mistake. Rather, the best way to win against the queen is to corner her mate, the king, rendering him immobile and powerless to defend her. Checkmate.
As we see in the intricate game of chess, it isn’t about strength but strategy. The abortion industry recognizes this intriguing concept and intentionally employs it to sideline men, effectively “cornering the king,” to keep men out of abortion decisions.
Take Kevin 1 for example, a man who had just found out his girlfriend was pregnant. Both were looking forward to parenthood when, at 19-weeks gestation, something drastically changed. Kevin recalled a fateful interaction with his girlfriend: “Out of nowhere she came to me and said that she had decided to [eventually] abort the baby—quickly reminding me that I had no say in the matter.” Just as with his girlfriend’s forward response, the strategy to keep men out of the decision is bold, touting them as “women’s rights” or by the coined phrase “No uterus, no opinion.”
Abortion advocates know how influential men can be in the abortion debate. As a 2022 study confirms, “The influence that men and boys can exert can directly and indirectly undermine the autonomy of women, girls, and pregnant people, representing a major barrier to universal sexual and reproductive health and rights.” 2 As this study shows, men have an incredible amount of influence on the trajectory of abortion decisions and are seen as a threat to the abortion industry. Consequently, men are intentionally positioned as outsiders and obstacles rather than stakeholders. It is expected of men in today’s culture to affirm abortion is a woman’s right and is her decision alone. But doesn’t he, quite literally, have skin in the game? Kevin certainly thought he did.
After learning of his girlfriend’s decision to abort their child, over the next week Kevin pleaded in desperation with her to carry to term, even offering to raise the baby alone. She blatantly ignored him, and one day, Kevin recounted an interaction that changed his life forever: “she flippantly said to me, ‘It’s done, and it was a boy.’ I was shocked, devastated and enraged.”
It is expected of men in today’s culture to affirm abortion is a woman’s right and is her decision alone. But doesn’t he, quite literally, have skin in the game?
“As a post-abortive father, I wish that I had a chance to be heard. I wish a pro-life advocate had come alongside of me as I fought for my son’s life. When you are so invested in an issue, it becomes difficult to be objective. I needed someone to help me navigate my feelings; someone to be a sounding board and a voice of reason; someone to help with healing/closure when my efforts were unsuccessful.”
–Kevin
With 1,037,000 abortions 3 happening in the United States each year, surely there are hundreds of thousands of men that share Kevin’s heartache and utter despair. Abortion in all cases is an unnatural separation of body and soul from not just mothers but from fathers, too. It is for this reason that the pain of abortion cannot be avoided and triggers a psychological death of both parents. Based on our most recent study on abortion healing, “No Regrets?”, we know that many suppress or ignore intense feelings of grief or regret for years or even decades. Men are absolutely among those who are suffering.
In just the last 50 years, manhood has been degraded and redefined. Traditional male traits such as strength, assertiveness, and leadership have been deemed as “toxic masculinity” and have been told that their natural tendencies are inherently problematic. In pop culture, traditional male hero archetypes have been systematically replaced with weaker, passive, or emasculated male characters. And most of all, the lines have been blurred between genders, making manhood itself seem outdated or irrelevant. Men don’t deserve for their worth to be diminished by our culture.
Men have an inherent worth in our society as leaders, protectors and most of all, as fathers. We must empower men to step forward as protectors and supporters rather than just influencers in abortion decisions.
Right now, the abortion industry plays a strategic game—much like chess—knowing that the best way to overpower the strong queen is to corner the king and paralyze his defenses. By silencing men, they weaken the defense for life. But if we can mobilize men in this fight, elevating their worth and their voices, we can change the game entirely. With men standing boldly for life, we can build a future where abortion is unthinkable.
- Hazzard, K. (2017, October 24). Kevin’s Story. Retrieved March 5, 2025, from https://secularprolife.org/2017/10/kevins-story/[↩]
- Strong J. Men’s involvement in women’s abortion-related care: a scoping review of evidence from low- and middle-income countries. Sex Reprod Health Matters. 2022 Dec;30(1):2040774. doi: 10.1080/26410397.2022.2040774. PMID: 35323104; PMCID: PMC8956302.[↩]
- Maddow-Zimet, I., & Gibson, C. (2024, March 1). Despite Bans, Number of Abortions in the United States Increased in 2023. Retrieved March 5, 2025, from https://www.guttmacher.org/2024/03/despite-bans-number-abortions-united-states-increased-2023[↩]