“No uterus, no opinion,” is a common phrase used in our culture to keep men silent on abortion.
While men have been told that they have no right to speak about abortion, the truth is that we need men to step up and speak out. Our most recent research revealed this surprising truth: women facing unexpected pregnancy need and want the father of their baby to heroically speak up and take responsibility for her and the life he helped create.
Let’s look at Sarah’s story as an illustration.
The moment Sarah saw the positive pregnancy test, she knew her life’s trajectory would change forever, regardless of what she chose to do. She was terrified because this was not how her life was supposed to go, but an overwhelming sense of shame washed over her, quickly replacing the fear. She mentally retraced her choices that led to this moment, berating herself for not having more self-control. For not just saying “no.” How could she have given in? She loved her boyfriend, but this was all far, far too soon.
What would people think? Would she be shunned by her family and church? She thought of the judgmental looks she would get at church when she began to show. In a sense, her life flashed before her eyes in the few moments that had passed since discovering she was pregnant. She saw the life she was supposed to have, and she saw the diverging life paths in her future, dependent on what decisions she made.
Feeling broken, confused and paralyzed under the weight of the decisions she knew lay ahead, she decides to tell her boyfriend about her pregnancy.
Did you know that the response of Sarah’s boyfriend could entirely determine whether or not she chooses abortion? Our research revealed the impact men have in abortion decision-making. Though society indoctrinates men with the concept of a woman’s “right to choose,” many women don’t want to hear, “I’ll support whatever you decide.” In fact, our research showed that women often felt like this response was forcing them to make the decision all on their own, as if the responsibility was entirely theirs.
Women like Sarah, who feel paralyzed by the decision, only need the father to say, “We can do this.” Women want to be supported in choosing life. In fact, the father of the baby has the most influence on whether a woman chooses life.
This is why we are embarking on a men’s study. Men have been told to stay silent on this issue, but if we are to truly make abortion unthinkable, empowering men to speak up and be life-affirming heroes may very well be the key.
When Sarah revealed to her boyfriend that she was pregnant, he bowed his head for just a moment, exhaling as he covered his face. Sarah’s face fell, assuming his response. However, after a few seconds had passed, he looked up, tears welling in his eyes, and wrapped his arms around her, saying, “I’ve got you. I don’t know what I am doing, but I will be the best father I can be, and I know you are going to be an amazing mother.” Sarah leaned into his embrace, letting the tears fall from her eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered, feeling rescued in that moment.
Most women choose abortion because it feels necessary amidst their circumstances. If men change those circumstances, women feel empowered to choose life. We need men to take responsibility for their actions and to support women in making the life-affirming choices they ultimately want to make.
This is why this research study focused on men and their influence on abortion decision-making is essential. Recently, Seth Dillon, CEO of The Babylon Bee spoke at a Vitae Foundation event and affirmed the importance of this research study, explaining, “But the problem of men is such an overlooked problem, because when you actually look at the studies where women explain the reasons why they’re abortion-minded, why they’re showing up at Planned Parenthood clinics, the reasons all have to do with problems that men can solve.”
Our culture has silenced men for far too long, but no progress will be made until we empower them to be the heroes we need.
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