I Won’t Forget You

Throughout the course of the year, I get the incredible joy of meeting a lot of people, and last year was no different. There was one week that I had touched six different states in three days, speaking at different amazing pro-life fundraising events. It brings me so much joy to watch people’s faces light up when they engage with me during a speech; one of my absolute favorite parts is actually after the events, when people share their own personal stories with me as they relate to what they’ve just heard.

Admittedly, sometimes it’s hard to remember all the faces and names. . . but I know one I will never forget. Looking back, it completely caught me off guard.

I had just finished what felt like a great speaking engagement. That night, it was as if the audience was hanging on every word and was intensely captivated by the story and with that kind of energy, it felt like we were ready to change the world together!

This was absolutely one of those nights.

I had just shared about my new and VERY loved grandbaby, Emmy, who my son and his fiancé had recently gifted me in some unexpected circumstances, and people were coming up in droves to share with me about their own stories of unexpected babies. They were embracing me and telling me just how wonderful my sweet little granddaughter’s life will be. We cried and laughed together while we recounted some of the things I had shared a few minutes earlier from the stage. These moments bless me more than anyone can know!

And then I caught him out of the corner of my eye… There was an older man waiting to speak to me, who looked troubled and maybe even a little angry. I wrapped up my conversation with a lovely couple that stood before me and turned to him before anyone else could slide in to visit.

I had hoped that would offer him some relief and maybe ease the obvious tension, but it didn’t seem to. His face was still visibly upset. I warmly thanked him for coming to the event and he returned it with a somewhat cold tone and directly asked, “What about the men who didn’t have a say?”

My mind immediately started rewinding what I had said during my presentation earlier. He must have seen the look of surprise sweep across my face and went on to say, “I’m really happy that it turned out well for your son, but some of us weren’t so lucky. Please don’t forget about us.”

Humbled and hurting for this gentlemen, I explained to him how very sorry I was for his loss and for how we as a culture had failed him. My heart shattered into a thousand pieces in that event space that evening as “Charlie” continued to open up about his own heartache. He explained that he didn’t know what to say to his girlfriend at the time, but he had pleaded with her to not go through with the abortion. Then he ended his heartbreaking account to me with, “Not all of us have happy endings to our stories, because men have been told we don’t have a say on this issue.”

I hugged this man, and wept with him, apologizing again for his pain and ensuring he had connections with an abortion healing program. Then we said our goodbyes but only after I promised him that I wouldn’t forget about him, like he asked of me.

Friends, Charlie’s story isn’t an anomaly. Men have been told for decades that their voice doesn’t matter when it comes to abortion and unexpected pregnancies. They have been told that women are the only ones who should make the decision with the narrative loudly proclaimed “my body, my choice.”

Today, I am here, as a strong woman who is stepping out to continue to challenge that narrative and asking for women AND men everywhere to join us.  At Vitae Foundation, we are about to launch into a new research project that has been requested for years. The timing has never been more urgent. While we have had many studies about how abortion affects women, our next study will be focused on abortion decision-making and communication as it relates to men.

Men are naturally wired to be our protectors, and our current culture has mislabeled and misled men into thinking that is some form of toxicity. It’s time to empower men with how to communicate about the abortion issue with compassion and truth. I hope that you’ll help us as we make abortion unthinkable together. Will you join us by making a gift to Vitae Foundation today to fund our efforts of research and education, so we can save women . . . babies . . . and MEN from the heartache of abortion?

And to “Charlie,” I won’t forget you, the child you lost, and the men, women and babies who will be helped now because of your story.